Recently I have been having trouble with my boyfriend... actually we broke up. So this made me think about men and if they are even capable of change. Through long processing and hours of thought I have decided that they are, but trying to change someone in high school, especially a boy, is crazy talk. It is impossible.
This is one of those "Now I get it!" moments. I spent hours sitting and wondering why things couldn't be perfect and now I realize why.
Even though they were tiny changes, I tried to change him in high school and when you think about that from the other person's point of view, it makes sense why they would get angered. Some random person comes into your life and thinks that they know how to run your life better than you do, obviously you are going to get angered because you think that you know yourself better than anyone.
My intentions were good, I only wanted things for the better but he was happy with his life even though he wasn't going anywhere with it.
Changes need to be subconscious. Like with a child. Children learn through watching their parent's behaviours; if their parents say please and thank you, then the child will put that into their subconscious and say those things as well, without even noticing.
You can't tell a person, do this or don't do this- you need to show them through action that doing this, pays off in the end. I showed him that doing your work and striving to do well does pay off in the end and he took that in and now does it for himself. Yet whenever I tried to tell him something, a wall was put up as if I was a parent trying to control him.
I've seen people change. My dad for example. Through years of being with my mom, he changed from being very impatient and bad tempered to having a very good temper and being very charitable. This happens through lots of time and effort and can not be done in one day.
In high school we try to do things as fast as possible, get things done so we can go out and play. Not all things in this world are like that and relationships are one of those things you can't fly through. A relationship needs time and energy but also needs space. Through the "I miss you" process, people start to listen to each other more and get closer to each other on a deeper level.
That right there was my "Now I get it!" moment, well, at least that was about 2% of it. :]
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